I want to write something tonight because I have a mild headache and I’m in a crabby mood.
I get this a lot and it’s always something along the lines of “where do you get your motivation from?” or “how have you stayed so passionate for one thing for so long?” And weeks like how I’m feeling today, to tell you the truth, I have no motivation at all. I have yet to find a solid therapy for days where I just want to sulk in bed with a popsicle and Pokemon. Motivation is such a hard thing to find and such an easy thing to lose.
I know a plethora of young adults similar to myself who are frightened at this concept of commitment. It’s weird because I’ve always enjoyed commitment. I like to know that something is there and it is there to stay. I like to take what I like and put my heart and soul into it. I rarely change my mind. In fact, I hate change. I think that is such a silly thing for me to say because part of what I want to do with my life involves changing people’s lives. Anyway, I think it’s easier to think of it not as commitment, in fact, determination, motivation and drive doesn’t have to stem from any sort of commitment for one particular subject area. Like I said before, maybe you know exactly what it is you dream of being like me, or you are scared shitless and don’t know what the heck to do with your life. Either way, there is so much knowledge in the universe to be understood, so many things waiting to be discovered, so many ideas waiting for the right mind to conjure up, so many beautiful things to enjoy in every crevice of this world. All you have to do is keep going. I don’t know what more motivation people need than just to sit under the night sky and realize how small you are and how much more there is to discover in a world so colossal. I guess it’s part of the reason I like living in big cities.
My motivation for science comes from diverse sources. But one of the main things is just my desire to know more. There is so much to learn in this world, it makes my heart swell. I want to understand it all, I want to be part of it all, then maybe one day, I will discover something new.